Nov 5
Index V: Why Your Life Is Better Than Mine
My problems have always been my own. I always deal with them by myself. I have always done so. Most of the time no one ever knows what is going on in my head. For once I'm going to really share something.
By now (if you don't already know) you must be wondering why I haven't been around. The answer is simple. 3 weeks ago my computer permanently crashed and fixing it would cost more than buying a new one. So thats when my beautiful fiance Sarah suggested buying me a new one. It took a few days but we picked out a beautiful model for a very reasonable price. This beast would be a dream come true to have. So it was paid for and was on its way. I took every precaution possible to make sure that I would receive my package. I spoke with the sender literally every day for a week until it arrived. But who would have thought that FedEx would actually take the laptop out of the box and give me an empty box.
That's right. I got an empty box. I was already going through computer withdrawl and I was more excited than a kid waiting for Christmas day. In one instant my whole dream was crushed. I was going to use that laptop to get my A+ certification which would help me get a great IT job. And it was taken away from me by some greedy bastard who drives a truck.
Its been 3 weeks since my rig went down. There is nothing I can do. I called FedEX multiple times but until I receive the paper work that needs to be signed my hands are tied.
So once again my life has been ruiined by some outside force that I cannot control. The story of my life.
But don't worry about my feelings. I've become so dead inside that things like this don't even bother me anymore. Its just something I should regularly expect.
Apr 10
No. D
Disengaging
Ever felt like you've been detached from yourself? I do. I haven't felt like myself in a few weeks now. I know I'm fine but I don't feel fine. Its like I've changed and didn't know it. I just want to go back to the simple times. When life sucked but manageable. Now its like I have to do this and that and if I don't I can't get what I want.
Apr 2
Event 3: Time And Place
So this week has been somewhat of a turning point. The last two weeks was a terrible episode of mania and depression. But don't worry I'm back to normal. Well, as normal as I can be. I'm pretty screwed in the head and proud. So lately I've been recording myself sing and listening to where my faults are to see if I can improve my voice. For now its just for fun but who knows where it can lead.
Business will bloom for me. They always say that the first sale is the hardest. Well now that I got it out the way I can see this really working out.
Mar 6
Chapter B
So I fixed my PSP two weeks ago. Its old news I know but now its better than ever. Its my baby.
Life is slowly dragging on as usual. Nothing new really happens. I'm about to start looking for work soon hopefully I make enough money from selling PSPs and my uncle's website that I can pay for the security training. Then I can get a security job. All I do is stand around all day or night so its pretty easy. My goal for this year is to get my own place and get everything ready for when Sarah gets here. After that I want a new PC. I think my laptop is going to crap out on me soon.
Other than that, I look forward to some new stuff this year. Macross Frontier is going to come out in April. I can't wait for that. March 18th Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII is finally being released in English. I've been wanting to play it since last year. Other than that I downloaded two discographies, Slipknot and Metallica. The Metallica discography was so long it went straight for 15 hours with out repeating a track. Oh and I just got the new Nine Inch Nails album or albums Ghosts I-IV. Its 36 tracks of pure instrumental. I look forward to listening to it in the next few days.
Feb 18
First Entry: The land of the half baked idea
I broke my psp today. I'm upset really upset. I can fix it just need one of two things: a motherboard or a hacked psp. If I can do pandora's battery I will make a full recovery without replacing parts. my health is at risk without a constant video game streaming into my brain.
8:42 AM Feb 10